Osama Bin Laden—March 10, 1957 – May 1, 2011

Let’s dance around the May Pole

With ribbons white and red

Let’s celebrate his leaving

A wicket man is dead.

Sing a jolly dittie

Sing and shout and cuss

For now Mister Bin Ladin

Can't ever fuck with us.

Good Ol' Cengiz Yalt-ka-ya

Good ol' Cengiz Yalt-ka-ya

Views Turkish football in a bra

He and his team they are so gay,

Hip-hip Gala-ta-saray!

Most Likely To Succeed

“Most likely too succeed,” was he

Went to Oxford, PhD

Then he met a girl named Zein

Who knew she’d have all the brains.

Molly Lewis

Molly Lewis wasn't Jewish
But she spoke that way,
But then one day she went away
Her stone read, אױ װײ*


*Oy Vay

Danny Couture

Dan was Kool

and debonair
back when he was
a Mother Bear

But then he changed
became a schmuck
now he's just a old Canuck!

Riad al-Khouri, The Nazarene

Here rides Riad al-Khouri, The Nazarene
a Semite ‘mongst the Philistines.
To that end he was a giant
with theories on the Dreary Science.

Famous Epitaphs

O xein', angellein Lakedaimoniois hoti têde/
keimetha tois keinôn rhêmasi peithomenoi

Go tell the Spartans, stranger passing by
that here, obedient to their law, we lie.

— Simonides's epigram at Thermopylae

Fly
Quoth the Raven,
"Nevermore."

— Edgar Allan Poe, from his poem The Raven.

"Excuse My Dust"

— From the grave of Dorothy Parker

That's all folks!

— Mel Blanc

Finally I am becoming stupider no more

— Paul Erdos, Hungarian mathematician.

Hodie mihi, cras tibi

— Famous Latin epitaph: Mine today, yours tomorrow

No greater friend, no worse enemy

— Lucius Cornelius Sulla, Roman Dictator

Non fui, fui, non sum, non curo

— Famous Latin epitaph: I was not, I was, I am not, I do not care


Good friend, for Jesus' sake forbear,
To dig the dust enclosed here.
Blest be the man that spares these stones,
And cursed be he that moves my bones.

— From the grave of William Shakespeare

Nature, and nature's laws,
Lay hid in night,
God said, let Newton be!
And all was light.

— from the grave of Newton, a poem from Alexander Pope


Cast a cold eye
On life, on death
Horseman, pass by!

— W.B. Yeats

"Here lies one
whose name was writ in water."

— John Keats

She did it the hard way

— Bette Davis

I hope for nothing. I fear nothing. I am free.

— Nikos Kazantzakis

Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite

— Spike Milligan, translation: "I told you I was ill"


3.14159265358979323846264338327950288...

— Ludolph van Ceulen, he was so proud of his achievement, computing π (pi) to 35 digits, that he ordered it to be inscribed on his tombstone.

Here was buried Thomas Jefferson
Author of the Declaration of American Independence
Of the Statute of Virginia for Religious Freedom
And Father of the University of Virginia

— Thomas Jefferson.
His epitaph is notable more for what it leaves out: That he had been President of the United States for a full two terms.

Beware ye people passing by,
As you are now, so once was I,
And as I am now, so must you be,
Prepare for death and follow me.

— Birdville Cemetery, Haltom City, Texas

He went too far in the search of flowers

— China, from a father on his son's tombstone